Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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