No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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