So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I woke up under a house in Key West
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