Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
