I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
