he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize