U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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