she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
