Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
