Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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