why didn't you poke me back
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
