Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
