I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
