You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Randomize
