i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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