Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
