break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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