So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
