Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
