So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
