there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
