You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
