I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
