If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
