And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
