I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
