I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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