who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
