Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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