Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
