She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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