I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i think im in europe. pls send help
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
