Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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