Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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