dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
