he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
