I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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