We're facebook friends in real life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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