chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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