How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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