Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
