what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
