your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
