Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
