I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well I just put wine in my tea
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
