Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
