Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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