dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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