you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
