why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
