Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's always time for handjobs
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize