yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he puts the penis in happiness.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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