you guys were way drunker than both of me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
