So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
