He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
