did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The uberlube is also flammable
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
