so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
