It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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