i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize