My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dignity is for republicans.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
