I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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