So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize