You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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