So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
