finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
