Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
