Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
